How do I fix show-don't-tell in revision?
- "Telling" states a feeling or fact; "showing" dramatizes it.
- Named emotions ("she was angry") are the clearest telling to flag.
- Show the high-stakes moments; tell to move quickly through minor ones.
- Showing uses action, sensory detail, and behavior, not labels.
- Not everything should be shown — over-showing slows the pace.
Fix show-don't-tell by scanning for told emotions and summarized key moments — phrases that name a feeling ("she was nervous") or compress an important beat into a sentence. Dramatize the ones that matter through action, sensory detail, and behavior, letting the reader infer the emotion. Keep telling where it belongs: for transitions and minor moments you want to pass through quickly. The skill is choosing what to show, not showing everything.
Chapter i·Why it matters
"Show, don't tell" is the most repeated and most misunderstood craft advice. Told emotion keeps readers at arm's length — they are informed of feelings instead of experiencing them — but the cure is selective, not absolute. Dramatizing the moments that carry weight pulls readers in, while telling through minor beats keeps the story moving. Fixing this in revision is where flat prose comes alive.
Chapter ii·What to include
- A scan for named emotions and summarized key beats.
- A judgment of which moments deserve dramatizing.
- Showing via action, sensory detail, and behavior.
- Telling retained for transitions and minor moments.
- A check that showing replaced the emotion label, not added to it.
- A pacing check so over-showing does not bog things down.
Chapter iii·Example
A writer flags "Maria was furious" in a pivotal scene. She replaces it: Maria sets her glass down too carefully, and her reply comes one beat too late and too evenly. The reader feels the fury without being told. A minor "they drove home in silence," though, she leaves as telling — it does not need dramatizing.
Chapter iv·Related questions
WriteLoom's Edit studio helps you flag told emotions and dramatize the moments that matter, while keeping telling where it belongs.
See the Edit studio